My Motorcycles
 
 

I'm Gumby, Dammit!
Gumby, my 2006 500R replaced Julio (see below) when I decided a dirt bike was a silly thing for an environmentalist to have, as well as Lolita (also below) who was my original 500R.

 
 

Zed (a 2002 ZX9R) is more a poorman's Learjet than motorcycle and has been
a worthy chariot for more than 50,000 miles, even riding from San Diego to Philadelphia and back
.
He was named after the British pronunciation of the letter "Z" and after
the justifiably-homicided homo-hillbilly
in Pulp Fiction who had the Harley named Grace.

Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.


 
 


Chitty (my 2000 W650) is one of those rare lifetime bikes and has more than 52,000 miles with no problems.
Sadly, American motorcycle consumers
considered it neither sufficiently chopperlike nor racerlike,
so Kawasaki
stopped importing it into the US after only two years. (Another tragic casualty in the battle between Image & Substance.)
This photo was taken at Imperial Dune Recreational Area on the morning of Chitty's ride of 1,171 miles in 22 hours.


 
 


Connie2 made me happier than any other object ever, because I got to surprise my Pa on lovely day of February of '06.


 
 

Lolita (a 2002 EX500) was named after Humbert's road-tripping neophyte nymphet. And true to the novel, hers is a tragic story. I drove to Colorado to rescue her from a Harley dealership, and when I returned my (now ex-) wife had flown the coup. Slightly tainted with this sad memory, I gave Lolita to my girlfriend (we later broke up), then after I'd done a valve adjustment, put new tires, new brakepads & brake fluid, new rubber hoses & gaskets throughout, I slipped and totally destroyed her on the way back to my ex-girlfriend's home. I broke three ribs, lost about a square foot of skin from my hip & knee and ruined a helmet.
Angel was riding with me, but was thankfully unhurt.



Julio, my former KLR650, is the same model the Marines issue to their scouts and messengers.
Instead of combat operations, Julio was intended for use for goodwill missions to Mexico to learn Spanish,
help people, and get in adventures, like Caine in Kung-Fu, but I decided there were too few legal/suitable places to ride him, so adios-Julio.